monaboyd_month | Monaboyd: A Dictionary Definition

Ellohteeare: A Guide to the Species
\'el-ō-'tē -är\, Noun
Rating: PG
Word Count: 811

Fellow Members of the Ellohteeare research community,

On this, the 5th day of the Most Marvellous Event known as Monaboyd Month, may I present to you an update to my ongoing attempt to produce a comprehensive taxonomic scheme covering the various breeds of Ellohteeare mammals. For those of you unfamiliar with my dry and academic work, my classification has to date produced entries on the following members of this endlessly fascinating species:

Orlijah ~ Orlibean ~ Vigbean ~ Vigorli ~ Banalando ~ Bafta Vigorli Field Report

Monaboyd
\mŏn-ə-bɔɪd\
Noun

Etymology:

The etymology of the Monaboyd is a fascinating subject. 'Mona' in Latin means 'peaceful'. Of course the 'Mona' in Monaboyd also derives from the pure breed's name, 'Monaghan', which is an anglicized version of the Gaelic word for 'monk'. 'Boyd' also derives from Gaelic, in this case the word 'buidhe', meaning 'fair', or 'light'. As such it is possible to construct a meaning for 'Monaboyd' as something close to the following:

A peaceful, fair monk.

It is of much academic interest as to the accuracy of this phrasing as it relates to the breed in question, in particular the last descriptor with all its implications of chastity. The Monaboyd is not rumoured to be chaste so it is unclear where this monkish element of its name originated.

As a side note, it is important the the Ellohteeare Monaghan is not muddled with the Cercopithecus Mona, a small, handsome, monkey - although it is easy to see where confusion could arise from reading that description.

Characteristics:

The existence of the Monaboyd can be traced to very shortly after the origin of the Ellohteeare species in 1999. It is generally accepted that the Orlibill (aka the Orliboyd or Billybloom) was the first of the various animals to appear. The Boyd and Bloom pure breds met during their migration flight and so a new breed appeared. However the original Boyd appears not to have committed wholly to this union and thus in the healthy and natural environs of New Zealand the Boyd met the Monaghan and the Monaboyd came into being.

The attraction of the Monaghan and the Boyd for each other is understandable. They share Gaelic heritage and a similar build, as well as a mutual love for making sweet, sweet music.

Food

The Monaboyd is not a natural predator. It prefers to acquire sustenance with as little effort as possible. Interestingly, the recorded sightings we have available to us appear to confirm that the Monaboyd does not require solid food to survive. Instead it appears to subsist largely on a liquid diet. Its beverages of preference appear to be as follows:

Extract of Grape

Being a creature with occasionally refined tastes - the Monaboyd is more than willing to consume rare grape based formulas when the opportunity presents itself.

Extract of Hops

In common with the Banalando, the Monaboyd also seems to enjoy the malty taste of hops.

Extracts of Leaves and Beans

Most commonly the Monaboyd can be seen clutching various forms of liquid containing the extracts of caffeinated plants.

Consuming this life giving juice is serious business:

When out foraging for other foodstuff the Monaboyd is not to be found without its favourite caffeine:

NB: So far as this researcher is aware, the Monaboyd does not consume English Springer Spaniels so we believe the hound in that photograph was not harmed in any way during the making of this picture.

Moods

Unlike many of the other Ellohteeare breeds, the Monaboyd does not always reflect a coherent picture of its mood. Long time observers will have noticed that the creature sometimes presents a conflicted impression and thus it is wise to be cautious when around a mood-swinging Monaboyd. These conflicts of moods are perhaps the outward manifestation of the Monaboyd's intensely rich internal emotional landscape. On the other hand, perhaps it's just its hormones playing up.

For example:

Glumly Perky Monaboyd

Frightened Aloof Monaboyd

Happily Pouty Monaboyd

Aggressively Unhappily Surprised Monaboyd

Unusual Tendencies

Every breed has its own unique quirks and in addition to the hygrophilia described above (attachment to liquids), there is evidence that the Monaboyd also exhibits further rare behaviours. Some may find these distasteful to read so please pass this section by if you are of a delicate disposition.

There has also been some evidence that the Monaboyd is partial to genuphilia, or an unusual attraction to knees. Note how the Monaboyd visage is in a rare state of a single emotion: happiness. I can only attribute this to the presence of naked knees.

What I would suggest is the most unusual of its behaviours is its curious attraction to bodily smells. Bromidrosiphilia is rare enough in humans, let alone in recently discovered breeds like the Monaboyd, but the evidence is irrefutable:

Conclusion:

The Monaboyd, in common with so many of the Ellohteeare, has rarely been seen in public since 2003. However, there has been enough anecdotal evidence sourced from the pure breed Monaghan and Boyd to suggest that the Monaboyd is not yet extinct. This is cause for celebration as it is clear from many photographs that the majority of the time the Monaboyd is a content and loving animal, far from being continually beset by the conflicting emotions and competing urges detailed above. May the Monaboyd continue to enjoy its own company, where ever it may be, for many years to come.

~~~~~

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the moderators of this academic community for allowing me the chance to publish my findings here amongst many other pieces of research into this fascinating breed. Your efforts are appreciated.