monaboyd_month | (no subject)

Snakes on a... Plate?
Rated PG

"Hey, Bill, I was just reading this article on the internet."

"Were you, now?" Billy says. He's not really paying attention to Dom. He often doesn't at this early hour of the morning.

"Yeah, bloke found a snake's head in his sandwich. It's disgusting, check it out." Dom tries to turn his laptop enough to show Billy a picture. "Petrified!"

"Get that outta my face!" Billy squinches his eyes shut. "I don't want to see that, I haven't even had my breakfast yet."

"What, afraid you'll find a snake head in your porridge?"

"Would be a bit obvious in the packet, wouldn't it? All bulging out."

"Well, if it's petrified, maybe it'd turn to dust. Get all mixed up in with the porridge. You might not even know it was there 'til you crunch down on a snake tooth."

"Fang, y'mean?"

"Teeth. Snakes have teeth."

"No, they've got fangs."

"Fangs are teeth."

"Teeth don't have venom."

"Fangs are venomous teeth."

"Fine, anyway, if it's all crumbled up and mixed in and I can't tell it's there, what do I care?"

"Well, it'll have a taste. A snake-y taste."

"Snake porridge? What does snake taste like?"

Dom pauses, and then says, "Chicken." At the same time that Billy rolls his eyes and mouths: "Chicken."

"Anyway," Dom says. "Hey, there was this other article-"

"No."

"No?"

"Is it gross?"

"... depends on your definition of the word gross."

"Do me a favor, Dom." Billy says.

"Yeah?"

"Stop reading the internet before breakfast."